Inside: Think being a one car family in the suburbs is impossible? Think again! We’ve been making it work for close to two years now. Here’s how and why we make being a one car family work.
We are a family of six living in the suburbs of Raleigh. We have four kids, ages 7, 5, 3 & 1. We are defying the assumptions of suburbia, proving you can be a one-car family in the suburbs. Learn about our reasons for being a one-car family, and how we make it work.
My husband takes the car to work most days of the week. I stay home with our four kids all day long. He’s at work from 7:30 am until around 6 pm. I also homeschool.
Let me explain.
*See the tips for an update (#5 especially) and one big change that is making one car doable for the forseeable future.
City Girl Meets Suburbia
When we lived in Boston, we had two cars (sort of) because my husband’s job provided him with a work vehicle for commuting and job-related driving. Even though I could use the car any time I wanted, I used it less and less after our fourth child was born. The library and parks were easy to walk to, and getting four kids out the door by myself became less appealing. It was easier to just stay home!
When we decided to move, we intentionally chose a home close enough to my husband’s office just to make one car work. But in Raleigh, this one car thing makes us a bit of an oddity.
In Boston, it wasn’t such a phenomenon. We had been a one car family up until recently. In fact, having two cars is uncommon in a city where car insurance rates are high, keeping track of the street cleaning schedule is a nightmare, and parking is scarce, especially in the winter. Between public transportation, zip car, and a city used to pedestrian traffic, getting by as a family with one car is doable.
Here, when I tell people we are a one car family, they say things like, “Really? How do you make that work?” or “Do you have plans to get a second car soon?” When the answer is no, you can absolutely tell that in their heads, they’re thinking, “Good luck with that!”
Is it really doable to be a one car family in the suburbs?
I’ll be honest. I myself have thought a few times over the past two weeks that this commitment to being a one car family is crazy. There is no possible way we can make this work long-term.
I especially feel this way on the insane days. You know the ones – when the older two kids fight from the minute they woke up, the third is a hot mess because he dropped his naps long before he should have and is completely and utterly exhausted, and the baby won’t nap and insists on doing the stairs over and over again ad nauseum.
On those kind of days, I feel trapped. Even though I probably wouldn’t choose to go somewhere on those days (the rest of the world doesn’t need to experience this family during that kind of crazy), I do miss the freedom to just pile everyone in the car and head to the closest Chick-fil-a play place.
Walking in a City that is NOT Pedestrian-friendly
Then there was the day I walked 1.7 miles with the kids to the local library. I looked at the map – 1.7? Totally doable! Because my normal is Boston, where drivers actually pay attention to pedestrians, I assumed that all drivers do this.
So not true.
We were almost hit a few times, and 1.7 miles is quite a trek for the kids who were walking. They only persevered because I promised them Wendy’s on the way home (its true – bribery is sometimes necessary).
I quickly realized I need to adjust my expectations of how we are going to make this work.
I’ll be honest: ugly self-pity frequently tempts me to despair. I’m stuck at home with four kids and no car. Poor me. How will I possibly survive this? Every other mom in this city has a car but me.
But then, I remind myself of all the reasons we are choosing to be a one car family.
I say choosing because it is an intentional choice. We could be like many other Americans — go buy a new car, get a loan and a car payment. It would be tight, but I’m sure someone would give us the loan because according to the world we NEED two cars.
But we choose to swim upstream, against the current of our culture that tells us what we need, when really, it’s what we want.
4 Reasons We Choose to be a One-Car Family (For Now)
1) Having a car at all is a luxury.
In many parts of the world, having a car is a luxury. Families who have cars are considered very wealthy. They save for years in order to purchase one.
In America, having a car is an assumption, a given, expected. Every teen movie overtly plants the dream of a shiny brand new car in the driveway the morning of the 16th birthday. And while this is not every American teens’ reality, it would sure be nice.
I like to remember that having a car at all is a luxury we are fortunate to be able to afford.
Cultivating thankfulness and a global perspective never fails to break the back of self-pity.
2) We are wary of anything our consumer culture says we need.
The goal of advertising is to convince us that we need something. If advertisers can create a need, they usually can make a sale. When our culture presents us with an assumption (in this case: you can’t survive without two cars), we automatically question it.
3) Two cars require more resources – money, time, and energy.
We have quite a lot to keep up with already: four kids, one car, bills, the house, etc. Adding another car can be expensive: it requires more car insurance, more oil changes, more gas. But the drain on time and energy is possibly greater. Two cars is one more car to maintain – to fix, to clean, etc (I can’t even keep one clean!).
Saying yes to one thing always means saying no to another.
When we say no to a second car, we say yes to something else we could spend that money, time, and energy on.
4) We are committed to paying off debt.
Like most Millenials, we left college with a boatload of student debt. Between my husband and I, we had over $90,000 to pay off (thank you, Boston!). We’re down to $25,000, but our progress has been stagnant the past couple years other than that pesky monthly payment.
Long ago, when our debt was bigger, I was the sole breadwinner. My husband was still in college, so I chose the 20-year payment plan for my loan, thinking I would change it later (NOT).
Now I’m kicking myself because for $100 more a month, we could be debt free this year. At the time, I simply couldn’t see how we could manage that extra $100 (our payments were already around $650 a month).
My advice to new grads now? Find that extra $100 somewhere. Make it work.
We also acquired debt during our recent move. Moving is expensive we learned, especially a long-distance move. There are so many expenses besides the simple cost of getting your stuff from point A to point B. We chose a no interest for 21 months credit card for our moving expenses, but all the same, the faster that is gone, the better.
Our goal is to be debt-free. Now that we are settled in Raleigh, we are pursuing that goal with determination. When self-pity is strong and I am annoyed by our present circumstances, I remind myself that future financial freedom is worth any temporary inconvenience.
“…future financial freedom is worth any temporary inconvenience.”
Being a One Car Family in the Suburbs: 5 Tips to Make it Work
1) Choose your home intentionally in order to be close to one spouse’s work.
If one spouse works somewhere farther than a 20 minute drive from home, sharing a car is less doable. We chose our house over slightly less expensive options because we could share the car. The drive is 6 miles: 10-15 minutes depending on traffic.
2) Both be willing to sacrifice convenience.
Updated: My husband now works from home two days a week. One the days when we absolutely need the car, and he absolutely needs to go in to work, he will get up and work from home for a couple of hours. When everyone is up, we take him in. Later that day, we pick him up
3) Share the inconvenience burden.
Obviously, being home with four kids without a car is limiting and inconvenient at times. I sacrifice flexibility in scheduling playdates, doctor appointments, and outings. I only have one afternoon a week to use the car, and I make it work.
Does my husband like leaving the office to come home? Not particularly. In fact, it makes him want to come home and take nap. But he does it because of our commitment to making one car work.
4) Consider other commuting options.
Another reason we chose this house is because there is a bike trail that runs from here to my husband’s work. We may find a used bike in a couple months to see if he enjoys biking to work (or could be ok with it), which would give me a whole day (or two) with the car instead of just half a day.
Over time, we may explore carpooling if he happens to meet colleagues who live close by (and can stomach small talk for 10 minutes that early in the morning #introvertproblems).
5) Ask about working from home part-time.
Most people never think to ask their employers about telecommuting or working from home a couple days a week.
But you’d be surprised what happens when you ask!
Last year, juggling one car became more and more difficult, so my husband decided to ask his boss if he could work from home two days a week. She said yes, as long as he stayed “online” that day via his work computer, available for questions or calls.
It was that easy.
I work from home part-time blogging, and one of the main things this job has taught me is the truth to the saying, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Legitimate work at home options abound today! Check out the Work from Home podcast for more information.
Will we ever have two cars? Probably.
For now, we are committed to making one car work.
Is it inconvenient? Sometimes.
But so are a lot of things worth doing.
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