Inside: Have you ever wondered whether homeschooling on one income is really worth it? Two years in, I decided it wasn’t. Here are five reasons NOT to homeschool on one income, and why we chose to be a two income homeschooling household.
It was an Instagram post where homeschoolers could either ask advice or give advice.
One mom’s question stood out to me:
“Is it really possible to survive on one low income? Starting to wonder if the sacrifices (no college money, less traveling, no music instruments, etc.) will be worth it. Would they be better off if I just sent them to public and worked so that I could buy those things? It feels like either way the kids take a hit in this economy when mom doesn’t work.”
There were a lot of replies, many of them sympathetic.
Most of us have been there – weighing the pros and homeschooling with the financial sacrifices we’ll likely need to make in order to homeschool.
Too often in my opinion, however, the loudest voices are the ones saying, “The sacrifices are absolutely worth it! What’s a vacation or music lessons compared to the homeschool life?”
I strongly believe we do families a disservice by brushing off the financial implications of giving up an income in order to homeschool, especially the long-term implications.
It’s one thing to give up vacations or retirement savings for a year or two. Maybe even three.
It’s quite another to give them up for decades.
Here are five sacrifices I wasn’t willing to make in order to stay home without working and homeschool, and I would urge potential homeschool families to consider these as they weigh their decision.
(Maybe you’re reading this and think the sacrifices ARE worth it. And that’s ok! Everyone’s different. I wrote this for all the parents who are realizing that for them, it’s not.)
5 Reasons We Chose to Be a Dual Income Homeschool Family
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I stayed home for my first six years of motherhood. We had four babies in six years, and I was exhausted.
During those early years, I don’t think I could have handled working full-time or even part-time. I side-hustled a bit – things like babysitting and dog sitting (which WHY?! I don’t even like dogs) – but gave no thought to working.
That all changed when I knew we were going to homeschool for the long haul.
I started to think about the paycheck to paycheck life we were living, barely scraping by. And I knew that I didn’t want to do that long-term.
Here are five things I wasn’t willing to give up to stay home full-time and homeschool.
These were the five things that pushed me to find a different way to earn that second income we needed to homeschool and still thrive financially.
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An Emergency Fund
We spent the early years of parenthood renting, so we didn’t have the home repair costs we have now.
At that point, we were also so broke that we had free state healthcare, received WIC benefits and were living in discounted housing.
But once my husband changed jobs and we started earning more, we left things like free healthcare and WIC behind.
Don’t get me wrong – that wasn’t a bad thing. It was nice to not worry about how getting a raise might cause us to lose our healthcare.
But it did mean we needed more of a buffer. Even though we were still renting at the time, we suddenly felt the need for that emergency fund for things like…
- Unexpected Car Repairs
- Emergency Room Visits (Kids, Y’all)
- Potential Job Loss
Emergency funds are so SO SO (how many so’s can I add here) important.
They stand between you and credit card debt for life’s unexpected expenses, which I realized I should actually just expect because they happen all.the.time.
I didn’t want to weigh whether or not a child’s injury warranted an ER visit because of the cost.
Or whether or not we could afford to move if rent increased or our family grew because we didn’t have a security deposit or money for moving costs.
Debt-Free Life
We started out our marriage in 2007 with $90,000 in student loan debt. YIKES.
It was a heavy chain around our necks and not something I would ever recommend. It definitely influenced our “not pushing college” stance for our kids.
We worked really hard to pay them off, but they weren’t fully gone until 2021.
We managed to avoid most other kinds of debt, except when we moved long-distance from Boston to Raleigh in 2017.
We put those moving expenses on a no interest for 18 months credit card and paid it off before it accrued interest.
But not going into debt was really luck, up until I started my business.
We didn’t have any serious medical conditions or emergencies or disasters.
The only reason we have avoided debt now (except our mortgage) is having an emergency fund and sinking funds to save for things like replacing vehicles and major home repairs like replacing new well pumps and other plumbing repairs.
Retirement Savings
This is the biggest sacrifice I suspect homeschool families are making when one parent gives up an income to homeschool.
Not only are parents missing out on retirement savings now, but they are also missing out on the biggest factor: compound interest.
People who start saving for retirement early have to save so much less than people who start saving for retirement later in life.
You can catch up, but at a cost. A really big cost.
Vacation
When I say vacation, I mean our very budget beach vacation we take every year.
We spend three nights – two rooms for our family size – at a budget beach motel, which is made more affordable by the fact that we go in September after everyone else is back at school.
It’s nothing crazy, and costs us around $1500.. But it is something we look forward to every year.
(Before you say camping…I wish we loved camping. My husband and I are not campers – we’re just not!)
All the Little Extras
There are little extras that I like being able to afford along with all of these other things.
Things like…
- Museum Memberships
- A Homeschool Co-op
- Trampoline Park Membership a Month a Year
- An Annual Amusement Park Visit
- Going to the Movies a Couple Times a Year
- Eating Out (Not a Ton, But in Moderation)
- Some Home Decor, Like New Paint
- Therapy Visits
These are things that mattered to me. I wanted to not sweat or say “no” every time a kid asked about trying something new, like rock climbing or horseback riding.
I need the mental break that eating out once or twice a week provides. Could I cook every night? Sure, but I don’t want to.
And then there are other extras like mental health visits for kids and myself who genuinely need them that we couldn’t really afford otherwise.
All of these extras are things my income provides, and I’m so thankful for them!
Eventually: College Help
We’re not pushing college by any means, but if any of our kids want to go, we are committed to helping them to the degree that we are able.
We definitely want to pay for community college classes in high school if any kids choose dual enrollment.
And we’d love to meet them halfway and help them avoid student loans if they choose college later on.
Having two incomes will help us do that.
For Homeschool Moms Specifically…
I see too many posts on Facebook where homeschool moms gave up their income and careers to homeschool and then they encountered the ultimate unexpected:
Death of a spouse, or more frequently, divorce.
You think it won’t happen to you, until it does. It’s not something you plan on…but maybe we should? THIS book definitely made me rethink the whole stay-at-home mom idea.
Giving up your career doesn’t just mean losing a salary for several years. It means so much more.
I never understood when moms I knew would stay in jobs for several years despite the crazy childcare costs. Now I get it.
They were thinking about the long-term implications of leaving their career behind, both in the gains that come from raises, but also keeping up with their field AND knowing they had a way to earn a living should anything happen to their partner or their marriage.
It’s not easy to jump back into whatever your chosen field is after years away from the workplace. You can do it, but it’s so much harder.
Please read THIS book and seriously weigh your options before you leave your job to homeschool.
Leaving is a valid choice, but it’s really good to have a plan for reentering the workforce later on in motherhood if you do leave for whatever reason.
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You Can Homeschool with Two Working Parents and Two Incomes
At the time of this writing, I’ll be completely honest with you: I’m running on fumes. I am putting one foot in front of the other in order to work and homeschool.
However, the alternative of cutting back and trying to live on my husband’s income alone is not a viable option to me.
It’s ok to weigh the options and decide that homeschooling on one low income isn’t worth it to you. But it doesn’t mean you need to give up on the idea of homeschooling altogether.
So many families are making homeschooling work with two incomes.
I’ve seen parents work opposite schedules in order to homeschool. I know a lot of homeschool moms who started some kind of flexible internet business in order to homeschool, myself included.
In other families, both parents work full-time, and they hire a nanny and homeschool in the off hours.
Homeschooling doesn’t need to happen during traditional school hours. The beauty of homeschooling is that you can set your own hours.
So if, like me, you want to homeschool, but you really don’t want to live on one low income long-term (or one medium income), think outside the box.
You can find creative ways to make homeschooling work for you financially – without giving up a second income.
Tell us where you landed on the one versus two incomes while homeschooling debate. Share in the comments!
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Thanks so much for writing about this, June! I know folks have all different kinds of experiences and opinions when it comes to finances, and I appreciate your courage in bringing it up because it’s important. It is so easy to think, “Well if we can *survive* on one income then that is good enough,” even if it takes away important aspects of financial security like an emergency fund.
I used to fall squarely in the “If you can make it work on one income, why not?” camp! I myself have continued working part-time or freelance throughout our homeschool journey (going on 8 years now) because we could NOT afford not to, and also because I have found work that I enjoyed.
Now, however, I would NEVER advise a woman to give up her income or career completely, no matter what her situation. Now in my 40s, I have seen many friends go through divorce, and others who are stuck in abusive, exhausting marriages because they financially cannot imagine being able to cope on their own. These are not good or healthy situations for children, even if they got the benefits of a stay-at-home parent. You are absolutely right that it’s not just about the income you lose, it’s about income, promotions, skills over time that are hard to make up when you’ve been out of the job market for many years.
If I had it all my way, I would wish for parents to be able to share homeschooling and income-generating activities, but I know that’s not a possibility for everyone. If my new-to-homeschooling friends were to ask my advice now, I would say, find a way to work one day a week that your spouse takes off, or something similar to the creative ideas you suggested.
Hi there! I just wanted to share a few random thoughts.
There are some states that provide scholarships to residents that cover tuition and fees at state colleges as long as a certain minimum GPA is maintained. My state does this. Someone could move to one of those states and after a year declare residency. In our family, we do offer the option of trade schools to our kids instead of college but my husband and I both have college degrees (my husband has a PhD) and so most of our kids are going the college route (the three oldest who are done homeschooling are all in college or graduate school). Also, the careers they are choosing require college degrees.
I have not read the book you mention, but based on the reviews, I get the feeling the author does not discuss the benefits of a SAHM to the children. I know not everyone can stay home or work from home, but if they can, it can really add to their children’s quality of life.
As for working and homeschooling….once my oldest went away to college, I decided to start working part-time. I have five children so there always is a teen at home to supervise. I teach mathematics at a university and am only gone six hours per week. I often feel overwhelmed at the beginning of the semester but once I get used to the routine again, I feel better. I have to say it really is the best part-time job. I also am an IBCLC but only help nursing moms as time permits on a volunteer basis only. I was able to work towards my credential while being a SAHM.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Gina! I so wish we lived in a state that covered college costs. If we hadn’t bought in the state we lived in at the time we bought it, we would seriously consider moving to one.
The author of the book mentioned does discuss some of the benefits of staying home, but clearly believes the need to maintain the ability to earn income is more important. She does support mothers taking a set time off – 1-3 years – but with a clear plan to reenter the workforce, maintain networking and skills.
I think the hardest part is that often one partner carries the mental load of everything children. When you add homeschooling on top of it, that is definitely a lot! I hope that in future years, partners can better figure out how to balance parenting and share the load equally, which would make working part-time (or full-time if necessary) doable.
At this point, my husband and I have a pretty good thing going with him working 36 hours a week and carrying the insurance, and me working 10-15 hours a week. He is starting to shoulder more of the load with kids now that he works four days a week, including teaching my oldest son advanced math (my husband is a civil engineer). This makes me working part-time much more doable.
I love that you’ve found a way to reenter the workforce part-time in a job that seems like the perfect fit for a homeschool mom. And thanks again for taking the time to comment!
Excellent discussion! I’ve been Unschooling for a year and three months ago started a business to bring in that extra cash. My son is going on 14 so he doesn’t need me so much as he needs activities! I hope I can give them to him. Thanks for validating my decision.
I’m so glad this was confirming Meredith! Good luck with your business. You’ve got this!
This is such a great discussion to have, and I’m glad you brought it up, I share all your articles all around as one of my all time favorite resources for homeschoolers💜
We have played the income game all different ways as we have raised our children, who went to school for a bit, and we have homeschooled for about 5 years now? Anyway, we also cannot afford to not have two solid incomes, for many of the same reasons you listed, including making the leap over the poverty line making us ineligible for many programs, which we are navigating now.
Another point I would like to add: we spent all of last year barely getting by, choosing between bills and food sometimes, and I want to tell you that it weighs on the kids. As parents it’s hard, but for children it is forming part of their core beliefs about money and living and abundance and security. Our kids were 13&10, and we are having a difficult time resetting to an abundance mindset. It’s only been a few months since we got back to two incomes and therefore a living household wage/income, but the kids still are afraid to suggest grabbing a quick meal at a fast food place while we are out and about, or activities that cost more than $10 for a family. We are getting there, but I must tell you, as hard as it was to tell them no when we did not have money, it’s even more difficult now to tell them that yes, we can do that, and see the fear and lack of belief in their eyes. Right now we are still doing the part where we binge on fun things because we don’t really believe the opportunity will last…. Like kids when you lift screen time or snack food or curriculum rules🤣
I know we will get there and our hearts will heal, but it’s hard sometimes💜
This is such an important part of the conversation! It does weigh on the kids eventually. When they’re small, they’re content with free parks and library days and casual homeschool meet-ups. But as they grow and want to expand their world and try new things, a lot of those things involve dollars (and lots of ’em). An unfortunate reality.
I’m so glad you’re finding a better balance with two incomes! Here’s to rewiring core beliefs about money!
Also – just hopped over to your site – I love it! Gonna have to binge read tonight. Thanks so much for contributing to the conversation here.